Difficult Decisions

There is no easy way for me to tell you this, so I am just going to put it out there. I am coming home in 2 weeks. Those of you who know me well know that I have been struggled with depression for a very long time. I have really been struggling with it the last few months and it has gotten to the point where it is getting worse with every week that passes. This has been one of the most difficult decisions I have ever had to make, even more difficult than the decision to come to Tanzania. But I am at a point where I cannot continue this battle on my own. I need help which I cannot get here and I need to return home so I can figure out what is wrong with me.

I think one of the hardest parts of this is that I am happy! Life in Dodoma is slowly growing on me, I love the people I work with, and I love my work! Yet despite this, there is a sadness deep inside me that will not go away. I cry at the drop of a hat, wake up most mornings with a wet pillow from crying in my sleep and struggle to get out of bed. I don’t know where this sadness is coming from and it is getting stronger as time passes. I am eating healthy, exercising, spending time with friends and I even increased my medication, but it is not helping. It breaks my heart to leave here just as I am getting started with my work, but I have to put myself first.

The people around me here in Tanzania have been amazing and so supportive. I do not think I would have made it this far without them or been able to make this difficult decision. Thank You TIffanee and Albert, Jasmine and Chloe, all who are in Dodoma; Mike and Maguy and Lisa in Arusha; and to my 2^nd family in Iringa, Amanda, Will and Kerrie, including the dancing crew, George, Maria, Goze and Janneke!

I don't know when, but I will be back again, at least to visit!

Bugs

Termites busy in the office.

 And here is a taste of what bugs such as fleas and mosquitoes can do to your feet around here :) And yes, it's really ITCHY!!

Yup, that is what my left and right feet and lower legs look like right now. At least I shaved a day or so before taking the pictures for ya! LOL

Home in Tanzania

I have settled into my new home here in Tanzania. I am renting a 3 bedroom house in Area C which is bit of a noisier and busier neighborhood, but I like it. There are lots of dukas and vegetable stands so its easy to run out and grab something. I have a night guard, Babu (grandfather in Kiswahili) who lives in a little room at the back of the property. It will take some time for me to get used to him being around all the time. He is married and has 4 children, but his village is a bit far so he can't stay there if he is working here.
This past week two of the girls from work, Pendo and Janeth helped me to buy all the things I needed for the house. I had to buy almost everything except furniture. I am so greatfull to them for helping me as they took a lot of stress from me. I didn't have to worry about finding stores that have what I need and then negotiating. I am quite sure they saved me a lot of money too.
So here are some pics of my new digs!

The front of my house.

My gate.

Another view of the front.

The back, including Babu's house.

My closet

My room.

One of the spare rooms.

The hallway, 2 bdrms and dining room on left, 1 bdrm, bthrm and kitchen on right.

Living room.