Random Thoughts

I realized it has been a long time (if ever) since I talked about how I am really doing, the culture...

For the most part things are going well here. I am done Swahili school and so am now back in Dodoma 'full-time'. I am hoping to go up to Kenya and Arusha for some training/learning tours over the next few months. It is the dry season here now, so this is a good time to take advantage before the onset of the rains next November.

I still really have no idea where I am going to be living. I have been staying in hotels since I left Iringa. I stayed at the MAF (mission aviation fellowship) compound for 4 days after I got back from Iringa. It was nice staying there because they have decent sized rooms, a communal kitchen and living room, free internet and a swimming pool. But they are booked now so I am staying at a hotel right beside the market. I was worried it might be too loud but it's not really bad. It is loud during the day, especially when there is power so the guys in the dukas have their stereos blaring! Yesterday was a holiday here but no sleeping in for me because the music started by 7am! Those little buggers! lol. There is also a bar right behind the hotel but thankfully they shut down around 10 or 11pm during the week so it's not so bad. We'll see how it is now that it's the weekend?!? The hotel itself is clean and as quiet as it will ever get in Tz (everything is extra loud because of all the tile and concrete, there is nothing to soundproof). I also stayed at a hotel when in Arusha last week.

I must admit it has been getting a bit hard for me this last week. I am really tired of living out of a suitcase and more importantly not knowing where I am going to be living. I know it won't last forever but I am tired of shuffling around and not having space; being cooped up in a little room. Thankfully tomorrow or Sunday I am moving in either with the Bishops sister-in-law near Tiffanee and Albert or with Jasmine ( a German girl I meet at Iringa). Jasmine and I have been talking about maybe getting a house together and if we do decide to live together the house search will get easier as we will have a bigger budget. I had no idea that finding a decent house in a compound (with a tall, gated fence) would be so difficult but it is! I looked at one house the other day where they were in the process of building the fence but the inside was a quite filthy (mostly because they were cooking on a charcoal cooker). I couldn't even picture it after a good scrubbing and fresh coat of paint!

It is hard to believe it has been over 5 months since I last left home. I am feeling a bit homesick right now too (the living situation doesn't help). I have been having moments the last few weeks where I say to myself, 'Okay you've had some adventure, now it's time to go home'.  I know everything will be okay and I will get settled in and forget that I was even feeling like this.

I sometimes struggle with the culture a bit too. I don't know how friendly I should be when I am walking around town because so far when I have been friendly it has ended up with either them asking for something from me or marriage proposals. I am sure that as I get more comfortable here in Dodoma and with the language it will get better. I don't feel as comfortable here as I did in Iringa. I seem to get a lot more attention. Probably because there are are lot less white people or tourists here. For the most part I feel safe and I am grateful for that! One of my colleagues lives in a town where he is on the only white person and the only adult that speaks English. I could not do that on my own!

Last night I walked from my hotel to the Chinese restaurant to meet some friends that were passing through town. It was after dark when I left and was my first time walking in town in the dark. I wasn't too bad as the power was on and early enough that there were still people walking around. If I had felt unsure I would have gone back to the hotel and gotten a taxi. I don't think I would want to make a habit out of it. I am still so undecided if I want to try and buy a vehicle or not. I could wing the cost of the vehicle but then there is the cost of insurance, fuel and upkeep. Fuel here is almost 3000 Tsh (~$2Cdn) a litre, which is only going to get higher with time. But I would most likely have more peace of mind and freedom with a vehicle.

It is also interesting how 'behind' the rights of women are here. I had a discussion the other day with my Tz colleagues about marriage and cross-cultural marriage. I said I would most likely never marry cross-culturally because a marriage is hard enough without complicating it with issues of culture differences. One of the guys argued that it shouldn't be a problem if you both learn about each others cultures. I said it is not just about learning each others culture but accepting them and being willing to do things that would not be normal for you. The example I use was household chores and child-rearing. I said that most men now help with the household chores such as cooking, cleaning and laundry. They said no way! especially to the cleaning and laundry. They could probably compromise with the cooking. Then I mentioned that most men now also help with the children, such as bathing and changing diapers. I think I just thwarted a couple more marriage proposals! The guys were appalled at the idea of changing a diaper. I did have a good laugh, but it goes to show how much things have changed for us in the Western world, where we women are of equal standing with men and are treated with respect. If my husband beats me or cheats on me I have rights, here you don't. And to leave your husband (or for him to leave you) marks you with shame. The same goes for rape.

A few hours later:
Had a great talk with Mom and Dad tonight (mainly Mom cause Dad had to get ready to go drive beer carts for the Wilkie Centennial Celebration golf tournament (the town I grew up in)). It always helps to talk things out because then things sound so much better. (I find the writing really helps too). As I was walking home from the office after writing the above letter I was feeling much better. I was apprieciating the beauty of my surroundings and realized that I was the only white person among a crowd of black and I am lucky to be here! :)

Love and miss you all back home!!!
XOXO