The Truth

I feel like I need to get this off my chest. I have talked about it with a few friends, but I need to write it out. I am excited and happy that I am following my dreams, which is leading me to Africa. But the truth is I am also sad, scared and apprehensive. I am leaving so much behind! I am not worried about the material things such as my home, my car and all those other things we North Americans say we can not live with out. It is my friends and family that I am leaving behind that makes me sad. By the time I get back my niece will be in her first year of university (if that is what she decides on) and my nephews will no longer be the little boys whose tummies I can blow raspberries on (if I try that when I come back they will probably be able to pin me down and blow raspberries on my tummy! ).
I am scared that no matter what I do to prepare myself I will never be ready, that I will land in Tanzania and be overwhelmed with culture shock. I am scared and apprehensive that I will not know what to do to help others. I am also apprehensive that no matter how hard I work or teach (once I figure out what to do because I know I will) I will not be successful in helping others to be able to grow enough food for themselves and others.
Ahh.... I feel much better now :) I think it is normal to feel what I am feeling and it is most likely a good thing for me to acknowledge it. I know deep down in my heart that I will be okay. God is leading me by the hand. I will survive the culture shock and I will know what to do to help others.I will miss my friends and family, but we will keep in touch and they will be in my heart and thoughts as I will be in theirs. 
So next time you ask me how I am doing regarding my big move I will answer with the truth, "I am excited yet also scared".